These Days …

I started to type my usual “It’s Friday!” greeting and stopped. As much as I want to be cheery and as much as I want to avoid being depressing, I’m not feeling cheery. I’m not depressed. Not in a way that fits any of the usual descriptions of depression anyway.

I got back from Fairbanks, Alaska on Tuesday afternoon. I have a friend up there who is living with cancer. I went up to help her sort stuff of hers that had been languishing in boxes as the result of a couple moves. We got through a lot of boxes. I also helped her with meals and shopping and doctor visits. My presence didn’t cure her cancer. Her life is hard right now. And there’s no way I can fix that. I don’t have the resources.

If I lived in Fairbanks or she lived in Seattle I’d be able to give her at least an hour a day of help. If …

I feel weird writing about this because I think it might look like I’m trying to put a spotlight on myself. But I’m fine. She’s not. I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m numb. My feelings are blank. Being angry wouldn’t help. Being sad seems premature and rude. She’s still alive. Being happy seems even ruder.

She started hospice on Wednesday. She tells me that the hospice folks have been helpful and responsive. She sounded more relaxed than I’ve heard in a while. I’m glad of that.

Sketches

Between my trip north and prepping for the Billi 99 Kickstarter I’ve only had a little time to do my own art. I’m just doing sketches right now. I’d rather not work on anything complex because I don’t want to have to set it aside once I get started. I’ve still got the next Mighty Nizz story to finish. The story after that is planned out. I’ve got many more design ideas for my POD stores. I’ve been missing drawing. Sketching eases that itch.

I hope that your week has been a good one.

See you in seven!